Amor Fati – Love the Hand You are Dealt. The literal meaning of Amor Fati is love of fate. Humans are always striving to the next level. Not paying attention to the now but looking forward to what their next chapter will be. Amor Fati means to work with what you have and be the best at it. Don’t sit around and play the victim because you were born poor or that you didn’t have a mother or father figure. Play the hand that you are dealt and move on.
Are you a cashier at a fast food restaurant? Nothing to be ashamed of as long as you are the absolute best cashier at the business. Be the person that everyone is happy to see when they come in for a quick meal. Maybe being a cashier is not the position that you would like to have right now but make the best of it until you find something more in line with your future self. Being sullen during work does nothing to help your current situation and actually makes the workday longer and more miserable. Smiles and happiness are infectious and will make for more pleasant customers and coworkers. At this moment, there is nothing you can do for the future but everything you can do for the present. Here is a post I wrote that talks to living in the present
“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.”Epictetus
An event is neither good or bad until we put our judgment to the event in question. Our mind is what makes an event unpleasant, not the event itself. Once your mind is able to see the good in a given situation, the better your demeanor will be. The more that you are able to add good judgement to events, the happier that you will be. Know yourself to become a better and more centered individual. The Stoic Padawan speaks to this in great detail here. Even when there is an unpleasant event, learn to find the good in what happened and concentrate on that.
Amor Fati Action Items
Are we recognizing that this issue that has been placed in front of us is a good thing or a bad thing? Remember that our minds are making this judgement call. The issue does not have good or bad attached to it. Try to step back and recognize the issue as objectively as you can, without putting your emotions into the mix.
Once that we have recognized that this issue is a good issue or a bad issue. We need to acknowledge that we have processed this issue. Some people use a verbal cue like ”got it”, “yup” or something similar. We have acknowledged that there is an issue by this and now we need to move on and solve it. By using this short phrase, we are looking not to dwell upon it but to find the solution to this issue at hand. Note that this cue word should not inflict a negative feeling, just an acknowledgement.
To solve the issue, we need to look deeply at the problem to find the good things within it. Look at the problem from earlier and look at any solutions that are within your realm of control. Once you have these solutions, look through these solutions for which you believe would be the best in this scenario. Now break this down into steps to solve the issue.
Amor Fati Exercise
As an exercise on Amor Fati for 1 week, take everything that is given to you and make it a positive experience. Once you make the task positive from a mental perspective, it no longer affects your mood negatively. Sitting in the doctors office an hour past your appointment? Glad that I was given this extra time in my day to read. Boss gives you extra work? I am happy that they trust me enough with this assignment. There is nothing you can do anyway, why not make the best out of the situation. Journal how you were able to turn negative situations positive so you can look back on them later for future inspiration.
2 thoughts on “Amor Fati – Love the Hand You are Dealt”
Great post on the acceptance of our fate and how we can turn things into a positive. I like how you broke it down and the example you gave. Whatever job you are doing, be the best at it. And if you don’t want to do it, then make some changes to work towards what you do want to do. But in the meantime, do you best and be your best self.
The action steps and exercise are a great way of making this practical.
Make the best out of the situation.
Thank you for the feedback! We tend to think that something in the future will be so much better than the present but we fail to recognize everything that is happening in the present. Just enjoy what you have now and be the best person now. Why does there have to be more than that?